Will I ever get a nice family portrait

I had this super cute dress for Jayden that I planned to use for Christmas family photos.  I wanted a coordinating outfit for Trevor in red, black, and white.  I searched every store in the mall and all the suitable boys holiday attire had navy blue in it, while all of the girls clothes were all red and black.  Why oh why is this?  I finally found the perfect sweater at Old Navy and it was on sale.  Then I just had to find black slacks for him to match.  One wouldn't think this should be that difficult.  Again I went to every store in the mall and Target.  No luck.  The closest I came was 2t black sweat pants at Walmart.

Fast forward to the next day, picture day, all was going good.  The kids were excited and I promised Trevor if he was good he would get to go see "Octa-claus"  (Santa Claus in Trevor speak)  He said he would, "Say cheese, smile."  The photographer arranged us and did his thing.  Trevor was smiling nicely and the photographer snapped one picture but Jayden was scowling.  The next ten minutes were spent trying to get Jayden to smile and Trevor was still cooperating.  But Jayden wanted no part of it, finally by the time she cracked a little smile, Trevor was D.O.N.E.  He had a full scale meltdown and we gave up.  We had to drag him out of the studio and carry him through the store screaming.

The scheduled us for 5pm to try again.  But I decided to give up and not even try.  It's just not worth the hassle.  Maybe in another 3 or 4 years I can get a decent family picture.  So there's no evidence of our little photo shoot.  But, here is a picture of their super cute clothes.   I guess you'll have to take my word for it how extremely adorable they were.

Sucking up

Today we went to a smallish water park that had a nice area for the little ones with fountains, dumping buckets, waterslides, and a lazy river. We thought it would be a fun afternoon. Trevor wasn't too keen on the whole thing and Jayden was leary but seemed to enjoy herself until she did a face plant.

It all went downhill when we went to try the lazy river and they wouldn't let us use this floaty seat thing that we put over the tubes that is perfect for Jayden so she could still have her lower half somewhat in the water and is way safer than holding her while in the tubes. Lifeguard said, "no, you have to use the little yellow ones with the bottoms and walk beside them if they are under five." Ok, annoyed but we complied. We took 1 1/2 loops around and Trevor had enough and was crying so we used an exit by one of the slides. The lifeguard said, "Next time you need to use the other exit." Ummm sorry, if he wasn't ~freaking~ out we would have used that exit. And duh, why would there be an exit if you aren't supposed to use it?

I had purchased a disposable waterproof camera thinking I would get some cute pictures of my kids splashing and having fun. After the lazy river I pulled out my camera and just had it around my wrist walking with Trevor. A lifeguard walking by said, "You aren't allowed to take pictures" What???? I responded, "I'm not allowed to take close-up pictures of MY OWN CHILDREN???" She said, "If you want to take pictures you'll have to talk to the manager." I was really pissed by this time and Trav was furious.

We planned to leave but I went to talk to the manager first. When I asked about the pictures she said that I could wear this stupid lanyarn with a sign saying I was allowed to take pictures and said I could only take pictures of my own children and make sure not to get anyone else in the picture. Well gee, I hadn't intended on taking pictures of anyone's kids. I would be ticked if someone was taking pictures of my children but it it was an issue I would report it. But I think that is a STUPID rule. I felt like I was being treated like a gradeschooler the whole time we were there. How about getting on the gradeschool kids running through the kiddy pool nearly toppling over toddlers. That would be a better use of the lifeguards time.

So we left but first out of spite I snapped a picture of the kids, what were they going to do? Kick us out? Too bad, I really wanted some cute pictures. The kids have really cute swimsuits with matching floppy brim hats I got at target. I'll have to try and find a wading pool on clearance somewhere so I can finish off that roll of film. I haven't had to "finish off a roll of film" in eons!

Ok rant over after swimming we had lunch at IHOP. Jayden was cranky but not horrible. I took her out two times and she settled right down. Trevor did perfect! He ate a good amount of food which is unusual for him eating out. He loved the strawberry topping I had ordered on the side. He kept hugging me and saying "I U" After I told him he needed to eat some food before got anymore strawberries he ate some food and had seemed to forget about the berries. Out of nowhere he put his arm around me and said, "Awwwww mommy!" in the sweetest voice like he does when I come from work. Then he looked up at me and said, "more berries?" Little turkey!

Oh what a day!

I had the day off today and thought I would take the kids to get their pictures done since we hadn't since Jayden was 1 month old. I had to go into work for a bit in the morning to do a quick partial inventory so the kids ate their breakfast at my store while I worked entertained them. I'll have to remember how much of a hassle it was trying to coral them and get them to eat rather than trying to rip the store apart. More cheerios got crunched into the newly cleaned carpets than into their tummies.

I should have given up and just gone home but since the mall didn't open for another hour and we were going to do pictures at Penneys we went to Target to waste some time and money. I can't leave Target without getting Starbucks. The kiddos didn't want their juice and cheerios. They wanted my carmel mocha Frap. And man did they want it. I got a purdy new comforter set in an effort to make my room a little nicer. (It looks great with my new lamp and sheet set. Hmmm now I just need to paint the walls, get a new dresser and put up some pictures.)

I got some shoes and clothes for the kids on clearance and we headed for the checkout. Why is that kids always do this huge freakout at the checkout. It happens to me every time. I changed Trevor's clothes in the car because I found the cutest outfit for him that matched somewhat with what Jayden was wearing. Freaking out the whole time.

Again I should have given up. But those pictures were going to be taken!

At Penneys there were a ton of people and I hadn't thought ahead to make an appointment so it would be an hour before we could get in. So we wandered the mall. I got Trevor yet another pair of shoes that looked better with the outfit than the ones he had on. We ran into CVS and got some cereal bars for bribery a healthy snack. I spent some more money that I didn't have on a cute necklace. (But it was on sale!!!)

We went back and waited. And waited. And waited. Trevor entertained himself by dumping the box of crayons they had on the floor not once but 3 times. There was ALOT of them. Once he tried to step on them and grind them into the carpet but I reminded him he had done enough damage to carpets at my store! He tried to color on the chairs and on the wall when I was tending to Jayden who was confined to the stroller but starting to get antsy. Luckily I noticed before he did any damage.

Finally it was our turn. The last time we went to Penneys they had the table that kids sat up on and the camera on a tripod. I guess they don't do that anymore. Trevor was free to run on and off the backdrop freely. He didn't really want anything to do with having his picture taken, which is why it's been over a year since we've had them done. We tried getting him to play catch. She managed to get only 2 pictures of him, though they aren't great, at least they were pictures. Most of the time he was running from the girl and pointing at her saying, "No Pi-tur!" with and angry tone and matching scowl.

While we tried to get Jayden to sit still for her pictures Trevor rummaged through their drawers and props. He brought me all kinds of photo albums, magnets, key chains, etc. Jayden though a little easier to photograph was unsure about this crazy girl making strange noises and wouldn't sit still either. The first few shots were of her clinging to my leg with a scared half smile. Luckily she warmed up a bit and we were able to get a few great pictures of her.

I really wanted to get a few pictures of the two of them together. I tried to get Trevor interested in the bench that Jayden had been sitting on and they started fighting over it and smacking each other a bit. So I found another bench and fished out a cereal bar. I didn't even think to take it out of the wrapper. This luckily all happened while they were on the backdrop so she was able to quick snap a picture before Trevor realized it and ran away leaving a trail of crumbs on their backdrop.

I really wish I had thought to take it out of the wrapper before handing it to him because the only picture of the two of them looks like a Honey nut cheerio advertisement. They both snarfed it down like a couple of hungry wolves. Duh, they didn't eat hardly anything for breakfast and it was quickly approaching lunchtime.

Trevor was losing his cool pretty quickly so I handed them another cereal bar and thankfully that kept them both busy while I picked out and paid for the pictures. On the way to the car Trevor threw a huge fit and threw himself to the floor in the middle of the store and I tried the walking away thing and he would run to get around me and throw himself down right in front of the stroller. He did this 3 times so I had to pick him up and carry him out while still trying to push Jayden in the stroller. This continued with kicking and screaming all the way to the car.

Once in the car he thrashed and screamed all the way home. I tried turning on the radio and he only screamed louder and kicked my seat. When we got home the tantrum continued and he was trying to fight with Jayden. So he got put in timeout while I made lunch. He was red and covered in sweat by this time.

His antics were then mirrored by Jayden so now I had two kids having bloody freakouts, not staying in timeout and trying to smack each other around. Gahhhhhh.

Finally lunch was ready and though there was crying and whining through it, it was at least better. Finally it was nap time. And all was finally quiet for two blissful hours!

Weather this year blows

Here in Waterloo we're experiencing record flooding. They're calling it a 500 year flood. All of the water is unreal. Everyone jokes about building an arch or coming to work by boat. The jokes are really only an attempt to make light of all of the suffering going on around us because if you don't joke about it, you could just cry. So many have lost their homes in the floods. One of my employees has been evacuated out of her apartment since Tuesday. Another has flood waters creeping up her back yard and up her street. Her driveway is the end of dry land. If the water goes much higher and it will be seeping in.

It would take much higher water to endanger our home. However, the water is so saturated I could cry and my basement would flood. Well flood even more I should say. We don't have a massive amount of water in our basement. But the ground is so wet somehow it is getting underneath our basement floor and caused our concrete to crack and buckle. We can stick our finger in the hole and feel clay. I stick my head down the basement stairwell and can hear water trickling. Much like the ambient sounds of a water fountain. Though this sound not quite so peaceful. We've had water in our basement before but not like this. But this is NOTHING compared to what's going on in the community around us.

This flooding was insult to injury for our community. The F5 Parkersburg tornado not even 2 weeks ago deeply scarred our community as well. It is a neighboring town. The receptionist of my stores optometrist's office lives on a farm 5 miles from Parkersburg. She didn't have any damage but her friends, family, and neighbors did. It was a Sunday afternoon, Graduation weekend. Many people at graduation open houses. Her daughter graduated that day. Now the school and most of the town are gone.

It's a day I'll never forget. We were in Washington for my little brother's graduation and watching the coverage on the news knowing how close it was and not knowing if there was other damage even closer to home. See video at end of post.

And my heart breaks for the victims and their families of the tornado in Blencoe, a town in western Iowa. It is so tragic. A tornado struck a boyscout camp. When I heard it on the knews all I could think of was how terrified I would be as a parent to be miles away and know what had happened, powerless to do anything about it.

All of this following record snowfalls this past winter. And a spring that seemed like it would never come because we had snow on the ground as late as Easter. That and it just recently started be spring/summer like as far as temperature goes.

I think we've had way more than our fair share of foul weather for the year, if not the decade!

Here is a slideshow I found online. I only have 1 picture taken by me en route to work, but it's only of a flooded lowlying park I drive past everyday. I have been a good girl and heeded the advice of public officials and stayed out of the hard hit areas to reduce traffic for emergency vehicles. I'd like to see the flooding in real life but I plan on staying away. I would have liked to go sandbag but instead I worked everyday including my day off so that my employees who were affected wouldn't have to worry about working. The girl who was evacuated sandbagged for most of 3 days!

Still here

Here it is about 2:30 and we have yet to see a doctor make rounds.  We are really annoyed.  Not to mention we didn’t see a doctor at all since we’ve been here.  It’s just been care and observation by respiratory therapists.  On the bright side, his oxygen levels are good and the neubulizer treatments seem to be helping.  He’s coughing only occasionally now the respiratory therapist says his lungs are sounding better.  I’m sure the doctor, if he/she ever shows up, will release him.   The nurses all think he’s doing good and seemed confident that we’ll probably be going home “soon.”  So that makes it much more annoying the doctor is MIA.  The nurse said the same doctor does Peds, NICU, and Mother/baby unit.  Last we talked to them around noon they said the doctor still hadn’t showed up.  They also said that the doctors always start in the NICU to avoid the possibility of making the tiny babies sick.   So we are potentially going to be here for awhile.  Grrrrr

On the bright side for awhile today Trevor was unhooked and went to the play area and had a blast.  For a little while he didn’t act sick.  He drew on the chalk board wall, played with blocks and various other toys.  He did a lot of running from one wall to the other and yelling “Run!”  I was so glad we were able to get him out of the room for a bit, he was going stir crazy.  I think he wore himself out because now he’s snuggling quietly in the bed with daddy on the verge of falling asleep.

He still hates the neubulizer, though the last time he did much better and just sat and cried rather than kicking and screaming, trying to get it off of his face.  I think he’s started to get used to it but he’s still a little scared.  I put the mask on Tigger this morning to try and get him to laugh about it.  He did think it was funny that Tigger was wearing it.  I had hoped that it would help for the next one but it didn’t seem to make much difference.  The nurse even gave Tigger a little “treatment.”  I’m glad I thought to bring one of his bedtime friends to the hospital.  He has about 4 tiggers, 4 poohs, a big fluffy puppy, and a fuzzy bunny in his bed with him at night.  So I grabbed just 1 tigger and it seemed to do the trick.  He snuggles Tigger when he’s going to sleep.

Oh and it’s SNOWING again today.  Well it was snowing now it’s sleeting and it’s really gloomy outside.

Hospitalized

~ancient post, cleaning out drafts~

Friday 4-11-07 10:53pm
What a day!   Last night out of nowhere Trevor’s nose started running and he was coughing like crazy.  He coughed so hard he made himself sick.  He coughed through the night and in the morning he seemed better.   No temp just a little coughing and acting fairly normal though he seemed tired.  So off to daycare we went.   Travis had 2 job interviews today and it would have been a really bad day for me to miss work.  Not that any day is good for me to miss… but today was especially so.

Not even 45 minutes into my work day my cell rings and it’s daycare asking me to pick up Trevor.  His temp was up to 102 (?)  and that he was having major coughing fits.  So when I picked him up his breathing seemed a little labored so I took him into the doctor’s office.  I figured they’d tell me it was one of those viral bugs going around, give us some cough syrup or something to give him some relief.  I was in no way prepared for all that came next!

After a basic exam and listening to his breathing they hooked him up (rather tried to hook him up) to a nifty little machine that measures the oxygen in the blood stream.  He wanted nothing to do with it.  The easy way it just clamps onto a finger for a little bit and that tells them what they need to know.  But Trevor didn’t want to do it the easy way, we had to do it the hard way.  It involved me restraining him so they could tape something similar to his toe.  He thrashed and screamed like a wild animal.  The nurse recommended leaving it on so that when they tested again it would be “easier” and covered it with his sock.   After the test was over he continued to scream and kick and tugging at his sock to try and get it off.  So I took it off and he settled down pretty quickly.

The results of that test were not what they wanted to see.  His oxygen levels were too low.  So the doctor said they were going to try a neubulizer to see if they could get it where it needed to be.  Ohhh my was that all kinds of fun.  There was even louder screaming and thrashing.  It took me and the nurse to hold him down so that he could get the treatment.   And the two of us could barely hold him.  He’s a tough little guy.  I’m going to have all kinds of bruises on my shin from where he kicked me.  It was what seemed like the longest 10 minutes of my life!  I cried right along with him.  He screamed “mommy” over and over then started screaming for daddy.

So after that torture was over they had to test his oxygen levels again, oh Joy!  When the nurse came in she seemed visibly annoyed that we had taken the toe thing off and made a comment that now we’ll have to go through that all over again.  I said, “well 5 minutes of fighting with him to get it back on is better than 30 minutes of him screaming and fighting trying to rip it off.  Because he wasn’t going to leave it alone”  So another nurse came in to try to get the test going and lucky for us Trevor cooperated with the easier finger test.  Though he still got all worked up and screamed about it he at least left the thing on his finger.  We got daddy on the phone so that he would settle down a little and talk to daddy so they could see what the levels were while he was at “rest”
Levels were still not good.   The doctor said based on those test results and that his chest is constricting instead of expanding when he breathes that they wanted to admit him for at least overnight for observation.   She said that it’s likely a bronchial infection but that they will probably do further tests to make sure he doesn’t have pneumonia or any other kind of nasty infection.    I was REALLY not prepared to hear that, after all I thought it was ~just~ a cold and that we’d be on our way.

So here I sit on my laptop in his hospital room while he sleeps.  Not that I can blog real time because this thing is a piece-o-junk and I can’t get on the hospitals wireless with it.  And even if I could it would be really slow.   Anyhow, I’m at least thankful that I can use it to write something to cut and paste later.  

So it’s been a really long day.  Since we were admitted at around 1:00pm he’s had 3 more nebulizer treatments and all involving restraint.  He’s been hooked up to a machine that constantly monitors his oxygen levels.  He’s doing really well with that and not trying to fight to take it off anymore.  Sometimes he picks at it but that’s really it.  I think he might even think it’s kind of cool.  When Travis came to the hospital after his interview I asked Trevor to show daddy his finger and he grinned and held up his thumb.  It glows red and looks like an ET finger!   I took some pictures tonight in the dark because I thought it looked kind of funny.

He’s had his finger poked and X-rays were done.   Again all with much drama.  I’m surprised how he handled the finger poke after the initial poke,  he just watched her in amazement as she collected the blood.   Me personally, I was about to pass out!   So results of the tests were good so he’s been cleared of having Pneumonia or RSV.    The neubulizer treatments seem to be helping and he isn’t coughing so much.  At the moment he is sleeping peacefully and hasn’t coughed since right after the last treatment and right before he fell asleep about an hour ago. 
With any luck in the AM when the Doctor makes her rounds we’ll be discharged.  I really hope so!   Trying to keep a 2 ½ year old in the bed is really difficult, especially when there’s all kinds of new things to get into.   I’d say to keep your fingers crossed for us, but if you’re reading this then we’re home safe and sound anyway!
Sorry to ramble on and on.  I’m bored and don’t have anything better to do at the moment.  Not like I’m actually going to be able to sleep tonight anyway, worrying about Trevor + all kind of strange noises in the halls + crappy pillows and blankets + an annoying clock that tic tocs – the soft hum of my fan for white noise = one sleepless night  for mamma!  

Cry fest 2007

Day 1 October 26: She cried for about an hour and and a half and I started going in every 5 minutes then spread them out 10 minutes then 15.
Day 2 October 27: Pretty much the same as the night before. Woke at 5am and went back to sleep easily.
Day 3 October 28: Cried for about an hour. Woke at 5am.
Day 4 October 29: Took about an hour of crying to go to sleep. Wake at 4:15am.
Day 5 October 30: Took about a half hour of crying. Wake at 4am.
Day 6 October 31: I think Trick-or-treating at the mall wore her out. She went down after only 15 minutes of crying and slept til 4 am. I think 4am is her new wake up time in the night, it had been 5 am.
Day 7 November 1: Took a LONG nap in her bed and cried for only 5 minutes when I laid her down. Nighttime was a little more difficult for her to go down. She cried off and on for about 30 minutes but it was not the high pitch screaming that she has done in the previous nights. The challenge that she woke up 4 times wanting to nurse. I gave in because she wasn't feeling good. Hopefully I didn't start a new trend.
Day 8 November 2: Jayden was extremely tired because of the flu shots I think. Travis said she slept a good part of the evening. She fell asleep when I nursed her at 10:45 and woke up crying when I laid her in her bed. I gave her a binkie and blanket baby and she stopped crying and rolled over. She cried for only about 3 minutes when I left the room and not a peep since. She did however wake up 3 times through the night but went back to sleep after nursing.
Day 9 November 3: Easiest night of all going down. She fell asleep while nursing and when I laid her down she woke up and cried for a few minutes and then went to sleep.

And now we're good. It took awhile to get here but it's a lot better now. :o) Well worth the fight to get here. I could have done without the headaches and heartbreak though. It's so hard to listen to her cry. :o(

Some days it doesn't pay to get outta bed!

Today was definately one of ~those~ days!
~ Late night with lack of sleep because Jayden was up 4 times in the night wanting to nurse and I gave in because I knew she was feeling icky
~ Doubly late night because I was feeling icky and apprehensive about hopefully a job offer I should be getting anyday
~ Hit snooze too many times so I was up about a half hour late and in a big time rush
~ Trevor would not cooperate AT ALL this morning and threw a fit coming down the stairs, changing him, getting dressed. Refused to eat his breakfast then threw a fit when I went to get him down because apparently he decided he wanted to eat his breakfast 10 minutes before we needed to be walking out the door.
~ Jayden soaked through her diaper head to toe and had to be cleaned up
~ Already about 5 minutes late and I can't find Trevor's shoes anywhere. After about 10 minutes of ripping the house apart I find them in a basket on the bookshelf. Huh? I suppose that might be a good spot for them and it is but it would have helped if I knew that was the new spot to keep his shoes.
~ Stubbed my toe as I'm running crazy around the house
~ Get into the car and realize that the car is pretty much out of gas, praying that there was enough fuel vapors to get me to work because no way did I have time to stop
~ Getting Trevor out at daycare was all kinds of fun because they were chopping down a tree or something and Trevor wanted to look at the "tra-tor" and didn't want to go in. He also threw a fit because I wouldn't let him take a book into day care with him.
~ Get to work 1 minute before I have to open the store when I usually need a full 15 to get everything "ready" for the day.
~ A whole slew of people waiting for me to open the door and 2 of them were extremely cranky/irrate and made a big scene. They were extremely mean to me. Lovely way to start the day.
~ As I'm working on someone's glasses I managed to stick myself with a push pin and it bleed like crazy and wouldn't stop bleeding. I soaked through 3 bandaids
~ About an hour after the push pin incident I slammed my finger in the file cabinet drawer (other hand) and shortly after that I hit my elbow on an open desk drawer. It was pretty dumb of me to leave it open to begin with.
**** All of the above happened before 12:30pm****
~ And then the phone rings and it's daycare. My heart jumps into my through because they never call. I thought something bad happened. Jayden had a 102 temp and needed to go home. Not good but a lot better than what I was afraid of.
~ Love my job... I'm working solo and neither of my other 2 girls was able to come in. So what the h*ll am I supposed to do.
~ Called Travis who was in a middle of a lab in surveying. He was frustrated because they were most of the way through their lab and had to pull up all the stakes or whatever when he would have been done with the lab in 45 minutes. 3 hours wasted. But he can pick up the kiddos
~ I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job
~ The phone rings and it's Travis he says, "Dawn... did tell daycare that the kids had flu shots yesterday?" If they would have known they would have given her tylenol and not sent her home. If it had been any other morning I probably would have remembered but I was rushed in just getting them in the door and telling them about Jayden's thrush treatment it didn't even cross my mind. Plus they were both fine all day yesterday.
~ I explained to him the sequence of events and on top of all of that how crappy I was feeling. I felt bad that he had to leave class for no reason because of my goof up. I was in a fowl mood because how customers had been treating me. And extremely annoyed that through all of this that there was customers stacked up and I hadn't even been able to escape to go to the damn bathroom!
~ I hung up the phone and had tears in my eyes because the day had been so sh*tty. The wonderful customer who I had been helping pick out glasses when I excused myself to answer the phone was so sweet and asked if everthing was ok. I gave her a much briefer (than this) synapsys of day and she sympathized with me and said 'I hope your day gets better"
~ I was supposed to be off by 4 but because the day had been so nuts I hadn't had a chance to get any orders keyed and had a ton of other stuff to do when my other girl came in at 3. So I didn't get off til 5:30.
~ All day I was hoping to get above mentioned phone call as the guy called on tuesday and asked alot of questions about my current wages and benefits. He said he'll work some numbers and call me back. Here it is friday and he hadn't called back so I was getting anxious. One way or another I just want to know and be past this waiting game. My intial interview was in August and finally had a second (phone) interview last week. So now I'm sure I'll have to wait at minimum over the weekend.

On the bright side. Trevor was an angel tonight. He was soooo happy, singing, dancing, and ate a good dinner . He also went to bed without a fight and we snuggled for awhile in his room and "talked" about his day and what a good boy he is. We sang some songs and shared lots of hugs and kisses. He was being super snuggly. I live for those kind of moments. It's what being a mommy is all about. I really really needed that tonight. Jayden was really sleepy tonight and kinda cranky but I can tell she's not feeling good. Hopefully she sleeps though the night!

Breastfeeding woes

This for some may be a "too-much-information" kind of post for some. Soooo, please disregard this post if you don't want to hear about such problems. Those of you who breastfeed or have in the past keep reading cuz I need some advice or maybe even some been there done that kind of sympathy.

Jayden and I have thrush. Woe is us! She had an appointment 2 weeks ago for a cold and we had noticed her tongue was a little white. I suspected thrush but the doctor dismissed it saying it was not thrush because the white wiped away. So about 3 days ago my "girls" started itching like crazy. It progressed to mild discomfort and my skin is very irritated. Yesterday it became pretty much unbearable and totally painful to nurse. So much so everytime I nurse I feel like jumping out of my skin.

I talked to the lactation consultant and diagnosed over the phone for me so I wouldn't have to come in to get it checked out. She had me call my OBGYN who thankfully agreed to call in an RX for APNO. It's a compounded RX so only a few places in town do compounding. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to take Jayden back to the Dr and that they would agree to do the same. But nope, I guess they want their $ for the office visit!

Today we took her in and wow big suprise she has thrush too! And she has the whole fungal diaper rash thing going on too. Grrrr! If they would have listened to us 3 weeks ago we wouldn't be going through this crap right now! So I'm a little ticked but still like our Dr. I was hoping to be able to combine this with the flu shot booster that was due *tomorrow* but when I asked the nurse over the phone she said that I couldn't even do it one day early.

I took Trevor with me in hopes that maybe we could still do it and I could save the hassle going back next week. And so I played to the Doctor's sympathy and she did it! I was so happy she said that it was exactly 28 days so she could do it. I really was wanting to avoid going back again next week. Since Trevor's 2 year check in August we all have been to the Dr. way too many times. Damn, I was just sitting her counting and between all of us it's been 10 appointments* so far equalling $235 for the appointments alone, not including rx's!

Trevor of course freaked out when he got his shot. He was pretty ticked at the nurse but it was soon forgotten. With Jayden, it was the craziest thing! She didn't cry or even winced. As soon as they were done she even smiled at the nurse. They couldn't believe it. I was shocked too. On the plus side, I think Trevor is finally starting to get over his fear of elavators. Normally he screams. On the way up he whined a little but on the way down he even seemed like he enjoyed it a little bit. It will be so much easier once he completely conquers that fear.

So if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear on a personal level what worked. For myself I'm using the APNO (all-purpose-nipple-ointment) and using a vinegar/water rinse. And I'm eating massive quantities of activa yogurt. For Jayden we're using nystatin both oral drops and swabbing her cheeks and nystatin ointment for the diaper rash. In addition to that, of course we are practicing good hygiene and will be sterilizing pump parts, bottles and pacifiers. Does anyone know if the dishwasher actually sterilizes so I can avoid that step? I think it does but I'm not sure.

*Trevor 2 year, Jayden 6 months, Jayden suspected Strep, Me emergency room visit for what I thought was a foreign body in my eye and was actually conjunctivitis, Trevor knocked a bookshelf over and I thought he broke his leg, Trevor for an ear infection, Travis for conjunctivitis, Travis for a physical, Travis for a dentist appointment b/c he knocked out a filling, today's visit, plus in 2 weeks Trevor is being seen by a nutritionist for his lack of weight gain. Plus I'm probably forgetting something! Equalling a grand total of $235

I don't know what to do

Jayden is really having difficulty with sleeping these days. She fights sleep and then when she conks out in our arms she wakes the second we put her down and freaks out. She used to sleep so good in her bassinet but now she is getting to big for it and we're trying to transition her into her crib for fear she's going to fall out of the bassinet.

With Trevor we co-slept until he was about a year. Jayden doesn't do well with co-sleeping. She kicks, squirms and is generally restless in her sleep. So I nurse her in bed and then when she's sleeping I stick her in her bassinet and she'll sleep for the good part of the night. But now I'm waking to her pulling up on the sides of it. So what's a mamma to do? I've tried nursing her to sleep and then taking her to her crib but then she wakes up the minute I lay her in her crib.

So at the moment I'm trying to let her cry it out. It breaks my heart to listen to her cry. Though screaming is more like it. I'm going in about every 5 minutes or so. She's so hysterical she doesn't even stop when I'm trying to consol her by rubbing her head and tummy. I don't know what to do. This is by far the hardest part so far with her. :o(

Ahhh, silence! For the moment she has stopped crying. I really hope she has fallen asleep. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. We let Trevor CIO but when he was much older.

I'm a donkey on the edge

Gaaaahhhhhh stress is my middle name these days.

I ~LOVE~ my job. Note the sarcasm. Ahhh the power of positive thinking. Does it work? Ummmm nope! I'm understaffed and working a ton of hours. I'm not sure when my one girl is coming back from medical leave and I'm training a new girl. So far so good with her, I've got my fingers crossed. My regional sales manager is breathing down my neck. I am EXPECTED to make sales plan for the month. (I'm a optical store manager.) If I don't we are going to have a "documented conversation" (IE write up) at month end. Not to mention that my $ sales plan is big time ridiculous. And for the year I'm down about 66%. I try not to think that there is no way I'm going to do it. But really there is no way. I'm trying my hardest and it pisses me off that my boss only focuses on the negative. He's seriously the biggest jerk I've ever met and there's been a lot of turnover in my region because he's such an ass.

So then my optometrist lands in the hospital with a minor heart attack. He's a wonderful guy and I'm worried sick about it. And what makes me even sicker is that I'm worried that him being out is just one more hurdle that I have to jump to avoid the inevitable write up at the end of the month. No Doctor = No appointments = less sales. I feel like crap that I'm worrying about myself when he's in the hospital.

And so begins the job hunt. It makes me sad because 2 years ago I really thought I would retire with this company. I loved my job and never used to have a day where I hated to go into work. Now it's a struggle every day just to be there. I've had an interview with a company I would love to work for that is opening a new store in my town. I really hope I get the job. I think the interview went well but they said it would be 3-4 weeks before they make any decisions. The suspense is killing me. I've spent my entire day off on monster and yahoo jobs with a squirming baby trying to eat the keyboard and wishing I had earplugs to at least somewhat tone down the constant whining of a 2 year old.

I think Jayden is teething so she has been cranky all day. Nothing keeps her happy for very long. I don't know what is wrong with Trevor. He hasn't eaten much of anything in 2 days and throws most of his food on the floor. He whines all.day.long.

I've never been one prone to anxiety attacks but I think I've been having one constantly since last Wednesday when my boss said he would be in my store the next day and we have to have a serious conversation. I just have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, constantly on the verge of tears, super cranky and can't sleep at night. I was so thankful I had a few extra Ambien pills from my hospital meltdown with Jayden because last night I really needed. Too bad I felt the same when I woke up this morning. But at least I was able to sleep.

I know my problems could be a lot worse and they pale in comparison to what so many others are going through at this very moment. I know that I'm being a whiny baby. But venting makes me feel just a tiny bit better along with job hunting that I did today. So maybe tomorrow I can go to work and not be a puddle of tears and maybe just maybe I can go to sleep tonight without the drug induced coma.

A girl can dream right? LOL, on a side note, I'm just wondering if 2 is too young to watch the baby while I go take a long hot bubble bath and enjoy a glass of wine. Of course I'm kidding...I drank all the wine last night and Trevor poured all the bubble bath down the drain. Tee Hee.

Why oh why...

Does the water not work ...

~ on THE day I sleep in because I couldn't fall asleep til 4:30. And need coffee more than ever.

~ on the day Jayden has a nasty explosive "get everywhere" kind of poo? And I have no water to give her a bath. Or wash my own hands?

~ when I need to do a load of laundry to wash the swing cushion covered with above mentioned poo? Especially on a day when I need the swing more than ever.

Oh joy, I think it's going to be one of "those" days.

Poopy day... literally

Last night was a bad night. Jayden wiggled out of her diaper AGAIN and made a mess requiring changing of her clothes and sheets. Sadly the miracle blanket as well is out of commission until it get's washed. ~Sigh~

I think that I kept her swaddled too much yesterday and she slept most of the day. So sleeping last night for her was a challenge. And even more so once she poo'd on the miracle blanket. ~gah!~ She did not want to sleep in her basinet. I've been trying not to cosleep with her but last night I gave in. I could not have a nurse-a-thon sitting up last night because my back was hurting really bad. So we did the side-lying nursing thing for the first time and it worked pretty good. She actually slept pretty well that way. However, I shall not give in!

So with babe sleeping soundly next to me, Travis talking in his sleep (lol, I won't even share what all he was saying, but it was hilarious!) and Trevor coughing through the monitor I didn't sleep very soundly. Somehow though the kids slept until 10am. :o) I just started nursing Jayden and Trevor starts crying. I plead with him to be quiet for just a little while longer. His whining continues and grumpy me pleads not quite so nicely. I'm thinking he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

When Jayden finishes I go in to talk to Trevor and Jiminy crickets... he has somehow managed to get his leg completely stuck in the bars of his crib. I have ~NO~ idea how he managed because I tried and tried and could not unstick him. He wasn't screaming like he was hurt or scared, just whining. I felt bad for telling him to be quiet. I had to resist the urge to get the camera. Bad mommy.

He had his leg put through all the way up to his thigh and then somehow his lower leg turned and hooked through the next space between the rails. He was STUCK. I tried lotion to no avail. I really though I was going to have to cut the bars. Of course Brian was gone and Travis was at school. I thought about calling 911.

All the while he was crying and Jayden was screaming in the other room. I slathered him up again with lotion and used a little more force. I had him laying on his side and I had to lift his rear completely off the bed and finally I was able to free his leg. Whew. I have no idea how he managed to get stuck. Hopefully he doesn't do it again. I'm really not ready to give up the crib! He would empty out his dresser and get into all kinds of stuff unless a mattress was all there was in the room.

They've both been extremely cranky all day. I've just now put the laundry in the wash and (knock on wood) they're both asleep. I'm just now realizing it's almost 3pm and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet, though on my 2nd cup of coffee!