Liz, my hero!

The other day a very good friend of mine was asked to nurse her baby in the locker room or restroom at a local indoor park at a nearby community rec center.   I've been to a "play group" at this rec center.  I was going to try to go the center on the day that this occurred, I even switched from my normal day off.   But I decided to sleep in and was dealing with cranky kids so we skipped it.  I'm upset with myself because I didn't go and would have been there to support Liz when they did this to her.

Apparently the Rec Centers take on the issue was that they asked her to be more discreet.  I've been around her when she has nursed.  No one could be more discreet, short of nursing under a tent, than her.  Not that that should matter anyway because Iowa Law on her side.  Funny thing is they did this to the wrong person, she's a breast feeding peer counselor so she knows her rights.

I can't help but wonder if they would have done this to one of the many girls that Liz supports.  Those who may be on the fence about breast feeding.  Would it be the stimulus to cause them to give up and stop.  Breastfeeding can be really hard work initially.  I had a really hard time nursing Trevor in the early days.  Nursing moms need support, pats on the back, hell even high fives, or at least a thumbs up as I've done on occasion.  Not sneers or being treated like you are running around in the nude.  I would have given my right arm to still be nursing Jayden and to be at the nurse in that was staged today.  Alas, I'm no longer nursing and I was unable to attend because one of my employees was giving birth today.

Our country is far behind the world views of breast feeding.  Most of the rest of the world have no social taboos when it comes to public breastfeeding.  I feel that our country has come a long way but apparently we still have a long way to go.

Please please please do something for me.  Go to the kwwl website.  On their home page there is a poll about public breast feeding.  Show your support.  And here is the story that aired about the nurse in that was held today.

To my bloggy friends, please help me spread the word and link me up on your blogs if you are inclined to do so.  Let me know in the comments if you do.  I'd love to read it.

To Liz... YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!  You rock girl!  I'm so proud of you for standing up for what you believe in and what's right!  Keep fighting for nursing moms EVERYWHERE! ~mwah!~

Out of curiosity I did a query to see how my posts in my blog mention nursing.  Here's the posts if you're interested.   9 posts come up with the search breastfeeding.  A whopping 48 come up using nursing!

Ok mamas... how many times does your blog mention nursing or breastfeeding?

Sleeping Beauty

I took this picture of Jayden today while she napped in my arms. I couldn't bear to put her down.

She still has the angel kisses birthmarks on her eyelids though they have faded quite a bit you can mostly only see them when her eyes are closed. Angel kisses are a usually temporary birth mark like a stork bite, only on the eyelids.

She is quite the bedhog. If I'm not careful she'll have me on the edge of the bed by morning. most nights though she seems to prefer sleeping in her bassinet.

And since we're talking sleeping I have to throw in a picture of the kids in their jammies taken last week.

Before I was a mom...

I got this in a forward and thought I would share

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put themdown.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutesto make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Worth a read

This seems to be making the mommy-blog circuit, so sorry if you've seen it before. Just my opinion, but this is really worth a read. It made my heart clench up and my eyes well with tears. I think I may just be a better mommy tomorrow because I read this tonight.

From Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author:

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief.I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults,two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read thesame books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing withme in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that makeme laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower geland privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like.Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and movefood from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap Ibought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby isburied deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now.Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on siblingrivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education,have all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the WildThings Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect thatif you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What thosebooks taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taughtme, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, thenbecomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that itis an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well topositive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voiceand a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed onhis belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the timemy last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because ofresearch on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent thisever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventuallyyou must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderfulbooks on child development, in which he describes three differentsorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for asub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was theresomething wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrongwith his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physicallychallenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakeswere made. T hey have all been enshrined in the, "Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the badlanguage, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. Thetimes I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover.The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling outof the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded,"What did you get wrong?". (She insisted I include that.) The time Iordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then droveaway without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted Iinclude that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for thefirst two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make whiledoing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularlyclear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. Thereis one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quiltin the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And Iwish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and howthey sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing:dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a littlemore and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me andwhat was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thoughtsomeday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. NowI suspect they simply grew into their true selves because theydemanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The bookssaid to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I wassometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound upwith the three people I like best in the world, who have done morethan anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the booksnever told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.